I cannot speak
I cannot mouth the words
cannot fit to you now, after
the mean face of sleep, when
a fierce slap of daylight fights back
the echoes of the night, where
drums could beat a heart to fright
the bate to catch a mouth to choke
to squeeze around a bruised throat
to tighten breath to stop a chest
I cannot keep it in
I cannot be where
I want to be
I cannot want you
to wear yourself down
you cannot see me
like this
I cannot look at you
not knowing when the sudden flash
of hands face too fast heart rate locked in place
I cannot feel
you cannot know
the numbness down here
until it snaps
you cannot leave me
like this
leave me
alone
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